I’ve had a rough time lately with my C30.  First I backed into a parked car.  Then someone turned into me as I was driving my mom home and dented my back passenger quarter panel.  Then I had the whole episode in the parking lot at the Ricki’s Restaurant where someone hit the C30 and left.  There was a witness and he even gave me a license number but when I reported the number to the authorities no one had a record of the number.  I checked and double checked with the witness who was pretty sure about the number.  The insurance company told me that without the correct number I would have to pay the deductible.  That sucks. But none of these incidents resulted in any serious injury or damage where I could not drive the C30 so I was really fortunate.  It turns out that this was a series of fortunate incidents.

Still, what an interesting development.  Was the car stolen? Was the license plate stolen?  Does someone have different license plates on the front and back?  Who knows?  Was I being played by the witness? Bugs me that I have to pay the deductible.  I hope this doesn’t affect my rates.  I am still hoping to keep the C30 for a long time.

After all these incidents, I had the C30 tuned up.  New spark plugs and filters and it is running so well right now.  Purring as they say.  Still great for all the running around town that I do.  Especially now that I have take on a bigger volunteer role with the Steveston Community Centre and the Steveston Farmers Market – not to mention helping at the Judo Club as well as working on the Board at the Senior Housing Society.  I still help out with my family in a variety of ways including playing with my grandsons and it all adds  up to a full and productive life.

Loving where I live and play each day….

Been thinking a lot about driving Hwy 9 in Washington State. A little off the beaten track. But takes you to the road up to Mt. Baker. Past the Indian Casino, Deming, Concrete, Acme,  Sedro-Wooley. Cool names. South to the Blue Mountain Grill and a beautiful view of the Three Sisters peaks. A nice lunch there would be perfect.

Nurse has come to take pop’s blood pressure. Sleeping too soundly to rouse him. Confused. Tries to rip off the BP sleeve. Will try again later. But have to get more fluids and food into him today.

I end up in Burlington and the Skagit Valley. Such a beautiful area. Have taken this route a few time over the last 30 years. 9 hasn’t changed too much but Burlington has. Major big box stores. Costco. Walmart. I have taken advantage of shopping in the area. 

Can’t rouse Pop yet. Time to get some breakfast. Cafeteria Oatmeal is good. Time for every purpose under heaven. My time to look after pop. Last night a few times I saw the eyes and smile of my old pop. My pop of the past. The one that raised me and roused me from my sleepy childhood into adulthood. Still remember when I got my first teaching job, he told me that his best teacher was one that shared some personal stories with the class. Making a connection. Still true to this day. We are still taking about personalized curriculums. We are just beginning the conversation about the importance of stories and narrative analysis in developing strong relationships for teaching.

I often  stop in the Skagit Valley on my way to Seattle or Widbey Island. See the tulip farms. Stay at the new casino hotel that over looks the mouth of the Skagit when offered cheap rooms. beautiful. Even with the huge refinery in the distance to the east in Anacortez. Then I like to drive back on the Chuckanut along the coast to Bellingham. The C30 would be perfect for it.

Hospital cafeteria just opening. Lights coming on. Pop sleeping. Time to get some oatmeal. Again.

Oh no!  I backed my C30 into a Maroon Nissan Sentra on Monday night in Steveston.

Steveston still has a simple town plan. There is still a rural feel to the township area. A rectangular grid of streets and homes.  No concrete side walks.  Homes have a driveway and a uneven grass boulevard fronting the street. Many places still have a ditch in front to help remove rainwater.  There are homes from the 1930’s and even earlier.  However, people have discovered the peaceful beauty and charm of Steveston.  Many large homes have been built. Some people have built large compound – like homes.  Many young families can no longer afford to live in Steveston.

On Monday night I was looking for a friend’s home on Garry Street.  I was confused that I could not find the home. I drove into a driveway to get my bearings. Realized I was on Georgia Street. One street over.  So I backed out.  Looked back. Turned my head to go forwards.  Rolled back a little more and then I felt and heard that crunching, crinkling noise that auto plastics and metals make when smooshing together.  My first thought was: “Oh no.”

The car was parked part way on the street.  The streets in Steveston do not have a sidewalk just a grassy edge. So many people park partway on the grassy boulevard and partway on the road.  I should have been more careful. I stopped in the driveway in front of the car.  Inspected the damage.  There were some scratches on the C30 and a dent on the front fender of the older model Nissan.

I was upset for the moment thinking about the problem I had just caused myself. Now I would have to contact the person.  Contact the insurance companies.  Yes, companies.  In BC you have mandatory coverage with ICBC and you can have comprehensive coverage with a private company which can save a few dollars. I had gone this route.

Then, I also thought about the problem I had caused the other person as well. This person would also have to go through all this as well.

I went to the door and rang up.  No one came.  I waited a few minutes.  Went back to my car and looked for some paper and a pen.  Couldn’t find any.  Decided to go to my friend’s place and get some there.

Found my friend’s place on Garry. Spent an hour or so talking and having a holiday drink with staff from Hamilton Elementary. I had some laughs and good moments catching up with everyone.  A great group of people.  I miss working with them. Somehow we always end up talking about the students and how they are doing.  I guess this is to be expected whenever a group of folks working in schools get together.

We left to go to another friend’s place. I remembered to ask for a paper and pen, wrote down my phone number and asked for a call.

I drove back to Georgia Street  to leave my number.  Still no one home.  I went to a neighbour to make sure that the car in fact belonged to the first home.  He did not seem to know the people well but was sure the car belonged to some one staying there. I went back to the first home and left my note in the mailbox and went on to my next destination.  More staff were there and we talked and remembered and laughed until well past the midnight hour.

I drove home sheepishly as I was so late and had a dent in the car and I had to explain the story to Carol. “Could have texted me earlier.” “Sorry, I should have.” But, we never concern ourselves too much about things like this and we fell asleep.

Tuesday, I waited for a call as Carol and I went about some errands.  No call.  I visited the home again.  Two cars there now.  I rang the door bell.  Still no answer.  I thought maybe the person worked on shift in the evening and was trying to sleep. So I left.  I went about my daily and evening routines.

Wednesday, I was at Lowe’s buying a digital smoke and CO2 detector.  I was also checking out toilets. Richmond is offering a rebate to anyone replacing old toilets with low water volume toilets. I wanted to take advantage of this program. While I was in the toilet aisle I got a call. It was from an area code out of the area.  I took the call.  It was the person who owned the car. The person was visiting from Victoria and would be home most of the day.  I made arrangements to see him in the afternoon.

I drove to Georgia Street again.  Rang up and a young man answered the door.  I don’t remember the hellos much but I do remember the young man suddenly asking:

“Mr. Sakai?”
“It’s Max from Steves.”

Max was one of my former students.  It took a moment but I recognized him.  His features were of a young man but the sparkle in his eyes and the broad smile were the same as I remember over 15 years ago.  I probably would not have noticed this without having this lingering moment to make the connection. Many memories flooded back into my mind and body.  Max always had a special smile and way of making the people around him feel better.  He was one of the people that made my years as teacher and principal at Steves School a rewarding one.

He says to me, ” I wouldn’t even get this fixed except I was planning on selling it soon.”
“I’m glad you can still drive it.”
“Yes, at first I couldn’t open the door but I got a crowbar and bent out some of the dent and was able to open the door.”
“I guess we should trade some information.”
“I don’t know what information I need.”
“Let’s start with the insurance and registration numbers.”

Max goes into get paper and pen and Dad comes out.
He recognizes me and says: “Mr. Sakai. I’m not surprised that you would leave your number. This has happened here a few times and people just leave.”

What a nice comment. “I couldn’t leave the person having to deal with the insurance company and having to pay the deductible. I’m sorry about the inconvenience.”

We finish trading information and I find out that Max is working in Victoria as a recreation leader at a senior centre and is applying to university for other studies. We chat a little longer and off we both go. I leave thinking how glad I was to see Max again.

I dutifully make my reports to both insurance companies and make arrangements for the repair of the C30.

I text Max to let him know that I have made my report and wish him a happy new year.  He replies in kind. I am glad to have bumped into him and made the connection and off we both go driving into the new year…

Alan

This Is the Key to Happiness, According to Psychotherapists

http://time.com/3842551/psychotherapists-key-happiness/?xid=emailshare

Feb 4, 2017

It is a year and 1/2 since I wrote the post below.  So much has happened since…. Snowing again in Steveston today…

June 16 2015,

I was driving in my C30 to my medical appointment when the pain started.  Shooting. Driving pain up and down my leg.  So much pain that I could not sit in the seat.  Now, I do not easily succumb to pain.  I have shot nails with a nail gun into my knuckle and took myself to the medical clinic.  I have had my big toenail ripped off in my Judo matches and finished the match which I won.  I have cut the tip off my finger with a hedge trimmer.  The end was hanging on by some flesh still left on the end.  Fortunately, Garry was available to take me to Richmond General and the medical staff was able to stitch it back on.  So when the pain in my leg and back started to make me stumble, cringe, cry.  I was at the edges of despair.

I have learned many things in my life and this time it was about pain.  Physical, sharp, direct pain that comes like a knife in the back.

Late in my 30s I realized that I had become my father.  I had the same concerns and worries about family, kids, jobs paying the bills.  I learned to deal with the stress of it all.

I find myself complaining about my aches and pains, especially my sciatica, and discussing what medications and salves are the best to relieve the pain.  What a way to start my life into my 60’s. I realized that I had become my grandfather.

This is particularly hard to accept because when I was young I was sure I was going to do things differently.  I was going to do things better than my father when I became a father and better as a grandfather when I became a grandfather.  I was naive and young. But now, I have realize that the context of my life determines a lot of what I do in my life.  I realize that life was difficult for both my father and grandfather. Life was probably even harder for my grandmother and mother but that will be another story I have to write about.

The sciatic nerve pain started about a year ago with pain and numbness in the left leg. The pain would shoot up and down from my buttocks to the front of the calfs.  It was difficult to walk.  Sitting and lying down was fine for awhile.  I could take a some ibuprofen and I could play golf and do most anything I wanted to do.  The pain started getting worse in the fall and the ibuprofen and the aleve would no long give me much relief.  Then this January, I found that I could not go for walks and take more than ten steps before I would have to stop to give the pain and pressure some time to dissipate.  What I found strange was that I could get on my bike and ride for miles. I guessed that the pain had something to do with the angle of my back and legs.

Around the end of October in 2014, I decided it was time to do something about the pain because it was beginning to affect the quality of the things I was going to be able to do and to do with Carol.  I could no longer stand long enough to teach at the Judo club and complete some of the goals that I had for the Judo club.  I could not go for long walks with Carol.

Then the real pain started. I went to my family doctor and he said to do my stretches.  A friend suggested an acupuncturist. She had me on the table putting needles in various place.  She also tried some cupping which involved heating up glass cups and trying to suck the bad stuff out of me.  None of this helped.

Carol and I were at the Vancouver Home and Garden show in early February 2015.  There was a set up for a group of chiropractors and I had an evaluation done and they determined that I really needed some adjustments in my spine.  The representative gave me a card and and appointment with a person close to home.  I went to the chiropractor who did some tests and agreed that I needed some adjustments.  That was when I learned that there is pain and then there can be even more pain.

I went to the first appointment and the chiropractor did some adjustments using a table that dropped down or popped up. The next day, the real real pain started.  I could not sit or stand or lie down without pain shooting down my right leg now. Now my life was all about managing pain. Each night I tossed and turned looking for the least painful position for sleeping. Some days just sitting in my C30 caused the pain to develop.  On a few occasions I had to stop the car or ask Carol to stop so I could get out bend over and walk it out. l could only describe the pain as a knife being thrust into my leg. During the day, the best position seemed to be lying on the floor with my feet up on the hassock.   I was literally brought to my knees or to the ground with pain. I learned that no matter how much pain you are in there can be even more pain. I stayed with the chiropractic program because I thought that making the adjustments and was going to fix things up in the end.

I tried various combinations of ibu, Tylenol, Aleve, to ease the pain. This was not working and when I went to the GP he thought I was using too many meds that would affect my stomach and other parts of my health so he prescribed some other meds. The best combination seems to be Vimovo with an Advil chaser. This did help somewhat. I worried about the side effects of using these meds. When the meds wear off the pains came back.  I still could not sleep well or do many things like sit and write.

Some days during this time I had thoughts that brought me to tears.  I couldn’t play with my grandson, Wade.  I would not be able to look after him.  I could not chase him around.  Carol and I would not be able to enjoy the next few years of our life together and whatever time we were going to have together.  I could not finish my plans for the Judo club. I could not drive around in my C30 and write. I did not feel like doing anything but managing, bringing down that pain level.  I could not write because it hurt so much to sit down for more than a few minutes. I wrote a bit in between the bouts with the pain. I wept for a day in despair.  Fortunately, Carol was still at work and I was at home alone.

I have been deeply humbled by the pain that I know was probably caused because I did not look after my body and health well enough in my forties and early fifties.  I did more that I should have. I have been humbled by life and aging.

I am feeling a better now and so I can sit and write and reflect on how I have learned to manage the pain.  The one thing I learned is that you have to find out what the real source of the pain is before you can really do anything about it.

Next: Finding the real source of the pain…

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